1.No topic sentence in the first paragraph. But it has a general conclusion about the whole story " Alice in Wonderland". The first, I think I need to want down the topic sentence about what I am going to talk in the essay.
2. The thesis statement in my essay is about how Alice's behavior connect to the defence mechanism. But I think I didn't introduce this well. I need to write down a few sentences about my thesis to tell everyone what's going on my essay.
3. I did organize the main idea of each paragraph. But the main idea isn's in the first sentence of each paragraph. The main concept from the second paragraph could be explored by everyone. And also the paragraph make a relevant point. The main conclusion is not strong enough and not clear not everyone to see.
4.It has some grammar, spelling mistake in the essay. I think punctuation is good. I quote everything I need to quote in the essay.
5. I think the first resourse, it's good enough to explain the idea. But the second one, it's not really good. I mean the resourse is good, but I am not organize it well.
6. The strusture clear is the greatest strength in paper. And the conclusion in the last paragraph is good in organizing.
Compare Kelly's peer review worksheet and mine. I think I excatly find the miatakes that she was wrote in the peer review worksheet. I need to work on my introduction in the first paragraph. Also the grammar I need to work on little bit to make my idea stand out. The structure of the paper is strong enough, but I think I need to find more information about defence machenism to support my idea. And in the last paragraph I ought to stand out thesis there.
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